


The One With Naked Quinn

by Laure001



Category: Homeland
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7442893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laure001/pseuds/Laure001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(It's all in the title!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One With Naked Quinn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zeffy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeffy/gifts).



> This is an answer to T-Zefir prompt: "A story where Quinn is naked." So, it's not my fault. My hand was forced. I didn't want to do it. They made me. I'm a respectable person. 
> 
> And thank you so much to Leblanc1 who helped me to edit this!
> 
> (For even more silliness, don't hesitate to check this wonderful community http://carrie-quinn.livejournal.com/)

(Mid Season Three).

\- Carrie, give me my clothes back, right now.

\- What? (Drunk giggle.) I don’t have your clothes, Quinn.

\- Yeah, you do, I stepped into the shower, my clothes were on the stool, I stepped out, they were gone, and you were gone. 

\- I’m not gone, I’m standing here, in the hotel cor-cor-cor… outside your door. (Giggle). Come and get your clothes.

\- Well, I cannot, Carrie, because it would mean opening the door and stepping out, which I will not do, because I am NAKED. Because, you took my clothes.

\- Coming right back!!!!

\- Carrie, don’t run, Carrie, come back here, Carrie I swear…

Quinn opened the door of his hotel room to go after her anyway, he was stark naked, oh, did I mention that Carrie had also taken all the towels? There was nobody outside – except Carrie running toward her own room, a big bunch of stuff in her hands.

This woman is crazy, Quinn thought, then he decided to drape himself in a sheet and go after her, so he grabbed his key card and – his sheets were gone too.

My God. 

\- Carrie!! he yelled, opening the door to get after her anyway – and of course now there were two perfectly respectable women walking by just at that precise moment, they got an eyeful, Quinn made a little bow:

\- Hello, nice night.

He retreated in his room, now in an extremely foul mood – and one minute after that Carrie knocked at the door.

\- Are you out of your fucking mind? he asked, opening immediately (Yes, in Adam’s pajama, well, her fault.) I have a fucking plane to catch in two hours!

Carrie entered – she didn’t seem drunk anymore, well maybe a little bit, ok, more than a little bit, but she also looked serious. She closed the door behind her, got a good look at (a very exasperated and still very naked) Quinn, from head to toe to, you know. She was wearing clothes, the same grey serious pantsuit that she had been wearing two hours ago, after their conversation with Moretti (about Javadi), after which she met that old colleague from Iran (Allison something) in the lobby and both women proceeded to get very, very drunk.

Carrie stepped in the middle of the room.

\- I think you have a crush on me, she said.

\- What?

\- I think you have a crush on me, Quinn.

\- I do not have a crush on you. Are you crazy? Give me back my clothes.

\- No. I talked to Allison about you, and she agreed. With the, um, hints. I gave her. God I’m still drunk.

\- No kidding. Where is Allison? And who says "having a crush" anyway? You're not twelve.

\- Allison is gone. But she always gives great advice about men.

\- Great. 

\- I talked about the way you looked at me…

\- What? How do I look at you, Carrie?

\- And the way you talk to me, like, always angry…

\- I’m not always…

\- And she said, “Carrie, that guy has a crush on you, he has a nice ass, go and get some”, Allison is so greeeeat, God I need coffee.

\- Yes, yes you do. I'll make it. For God fucking sake. Here, drink some water. Drink a lot of water.

\- You’re making coffee na-ked!

\- Yeah, well, Carrie…

\- And you’re rattled. Why are you rattled?

\- I am not rattled. I am… What I am is extremely disgruntled. Carrie, I have a fucking plane to catch, so this is what is going to happen: you are going to drink even more water, and you are going to drink that coffee, right, good, just like that, good girl, thank you and NOW you are going to GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING CLOTHES.

\- You do have a nice ass.

\- Enough. Carrie, give me your key card. The card to your room. Give it to me, right now.

\- I threw it away. Your skin is very white. More like, creamy.

\- You threw what now?

\- I threw it away, by the window, because I wanted to have this discussion with you, and I thought, this guy is like, one track mind, he’s going to wrestle me for the key.

\- Fuck.

\- Wrestle me. While naked.

\- …

\- Why are you turning away, Quinn? Anything interesting happening to you right now?

\- Oh, fuck you, Carrie. Here, look, I’m not turning away… Happy? I’m sorry but – no I’m not sorry at all - when you talk about wrestling a naked man, in front of said naked man, this is what happens. Like what you see? Also, FUCK YOU. Call reception, right now, tell them you need another key card.

\- Sorry, I'm enjoying the view. That’s not bad at all.

\- Oh for God sake. Here, take the phone. Call. I’m making you another coffee.

\- You do not have to take that plane, Quinn.

\- Of course I do. It’s important.

\- No it’s not, at all! It’s the thing with Lockhart’s assistant’s assistant. Just text them you missed our plane, nobody will be crying.

\- I’m going to that meeting.

\- You have a crush on me.

\- No.

\- See? Even this answer is suspicious. If you were not, let’s say, ambiguous toward me, you’d say something polite and a tad exasperated right now. Like, “Carrie, you’re a beautiful woman, but…”

\- Here. Drink your coffee. Carrie, you are a beautiful woman, I have a high professional regard for you, but I am absolutely indifferent to your charms. Now…

\- Your body seems to disagree with your… indifference.

\- Oh, for God fucking sake.

\- Just admit it. You’ve missed your plane anyway.

\- …

\- You missed your plane and you are na-ked…

\- …

\- …

\- Ok. Fine. You know what? Carrie, get your clothes off.

\- Sorry?

\- Get your clothes off.

\- Um..., no.

\- We’re not going to have sex. We’re going to talk.

\- No, I…

\- You want to have that conversation? Get naked.

\- Quinn, come on… Be serious.

\- I am serious. I am naked, I don’t want to be at a disadvantage, you want to talk, get naked too.

\- It’s not the same.

\- Oh, really? Why?

\- Because! Because, the social conventions about male nudity and female nudity are totally different, that’s why! Because you can strut around naked looking like… this… and the result being very… I don’t know, a demonstration of male power, while a naked woman is more… vulnerable.

\- Wow, that was quite a speech.

\- The coffee is having an effect. And it seems my speech had a sobering effect on you too, in certain ways.

\- …

\- Just saying.

\- It’s the word “strut”. Men don’t strut around, so hearing it had a… deflating effect, I guess. Also, you know, you could look at me in the eyes, Carrie, and not only in the…

\- Sure, sure, I could, it’s just… fascinating, I guess. Down there. Wow. Hey! It’s back.

\- God. Ok. Whatever. You get one chance, Carrie, one. Get naked now, and we’re having that conversation. Or, I don’t care, I’ll call reception, I’ll have clothes delivered, I’ll find something. It’s your one chance now. Strip, or it’s over.

\- God! Ok. Fine.

\- Good.

\- You’re not going to sexually assault me or anything, right?

\- No, Carrie, I’m not going to assault you, but just as an aside, I don’t think asking the question to a guy is a deterrent enough. I mean, for future reference, for other men. In similar situations.

\- You think I get in this situation a lot?

\- Off with your clothes, Carrie.

\- This is just to even the field? There’s nothing sexual in this? 

\- Nothing sexual at all. As I said, this is me, being perfectly indifferent.

\- Clearly.

\- GOD. Do it now, or I walk out. Out. Right now. I don’t care, prison will be better than this conversation.

\- Fine! Shit, don’t be all… Here it goes… Happy?

\- …

\- And this too…

\- …

\- And here…

\- …

\- I guess you’re going to say that the bra has to go too…

\- …

\- Can I keep my underwear?

\- No.

\- Oh come on Quinn. Where is your sense of gallantry?

\- In your fucking room, Carrie. With my fucking clothes. You started this. See it to the end.

\- FINE! Fine. Fine. Here go my panties…

\- You know, I read an article that said that women should not say the word “panties” now. It’s not feminist or something.

\- … he says, while looking _exactly_ at… I thought we were supposed to look at each other in the eyes. 

\- I’m just considering the feminist issue there. You know, reaaaally considering.

\- Panties. Panties Panties Panties PANTIES. Eyes up here, Quinn.

\- What? 

\- Up HERE!

\- Oh sure. Apologies. Actually, no, I’m not sorry. You spent the last fifteen minutes looking at my…

\- Which, by the way, is again very…

\- The sight of a naked woman can do that to a man. So you’re a real blonde.

\- And you’re a real ass. 

\- Mmm, what? Sorry. Still… focused on the feminist general… zone. Issue.

\- Do you have a crush on me?

\- No.

\- You made me strip just to say that to me?

\- Maybe.

\- You are an ass, Quinn. Give me back my clothes.

\- No. This conversation is just getting started.

\- How? You ended it with a “no”.

\- My first question is: “What would you have done if I had said yes?” I mean, if I had a crush on you, Carrie, what would have been your reaction?

\- Well, I, I… I don’t know. I guess I was just being curious.

\- That’s all? I thought your friend… Allison… had told you to “go and get some”.

\- Well, yes, I suppose I would have. I mean, now, I’ve seen the goods.

\- The goods?

\- You’re not bad looking, Quinn. So, sure, why not. If you had liked me, I would have gotten some.

\- See how being naked enticed you to tell the truth?

\- Are you?

\- What?

\- Telling the truth, Quinn?

\- …

\- I’m just saying, it’s an odd conversation to have for somebody who is not interested.

\- I’m not saying I’m not interested.

\- You said…

\- I’m saying I don’t have a crush on you.

\- Ok…

\- But, you’re a beautiful woman, as we have established before, and I would be a fool, or blind, to… er… be uninterested.

\- Oh. But, it’s just… like that, huh? Just casual.

\- Yes. Just casual. 

\- Just… physical.

\- Yes.

\- Ok.

\- You sound disappointed, Carrie.

\- Well, I…

\- Yeah?

\- I just – don’t mind me. 

\- I’m curious.

\- I guess – I guess it’s just the alcohol talking.

\- You _are_ disappointed?

\- A little. I… It’s this talk with Allison, and… it’s – stupid. We were just being silly.

\- Oh for God’s sake again, what would you have done, Carrie? Come on. I mean, if my… interest was not… casual. I mean, aren’t you head over heels in love with a terrorist?

\- Can I sit down?

\- Sure. Let’s sit down. Both naked. Won’t be ridiculous at all.

\- Do you have something to drink?

\- Erm, wait. Ok. What do you think about tiny extremely expensive bottles of bad alcohol? 

\- Perfect. Yes. Vodka. Thank you.

\- I’ll take rum. So? You were telling me?

\- I talked to Allison about Brody. She told me… Well, long story short, that I was being dumb.

\- You needed an old colleague from way back to realize that, Carrie?

\- No. Of course not. I knew. But… I don’t have… many female friends. I guess. And Allison and I had not seen each other for years – in fact I don’t know if she would consider me a friend – but…

\- But…

\- Telling another woman about your fucked love stories while drinking… knowing she won’t judge but she will tell you the truth – I don’t know, it’s different – it’s not the same thing with a man – especially when this man is Saul, obviously.

\- So she got to you. Telling you that this whole Brody thing was insane. Good. I like Allison.

\- Give me another bottle, Quinn.

\- Gin?

\- Sure.

\- Then she told me “Carrie, you should get a man who’s not totally screwed up for once”. And I…

\- What?

\- Well… 

\- You thought of me?

\- Yes.

\- You think I’m not… totally screwed up?

\- Are you?

\- …

\- Quinn?

\- Honestly, I don’t know, Carrie. But… I’m still… glad… you thought of me.

\- …

\- …

\- Ok, that’s enough.

\- What?

\- Cut the crap, Quinn. I know you’re interested. And not only in a “casual” way.

\- … What… That’s not…

\- Oh come the fuck on! Do you think I’m stupid? I come here, I throw it down, you freak out…

\- I didn’t…

\- Yes you did, you hid it very well but you did. Then you try to sober me up. Then you get me naked to “have the conversation”. If this is all about rejecting me, you’re an ass, but you’re not that much of an ass. And then, do you know what the conversation is?

\- I…

\- Let me clarify, the conversation, basically, is: “I don’t want you Carrie but please tell me with detail what would happen if I did”, and as soon as you see there might be an opening, suddenly you’re all about the alcohol again. To make me talk. After you practically force fed me coffee and water, suddenly you’re all “What do you mean you were ready to sleep with me and Brody’s out hey, Carrie, look, here’s vodka again! Oh, and gin!”

\- You’re drunk.

\- And right. I’m drunk, and I’m right.

\- …

\- So? Quinn?

\- Brody’s out?

\- Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I… It was crazy. It was crazy. I… Yes. He’s out.

\- …

\- Quinn?

\- Carrie, what is that in your pocket? 

\- I… do not have any pocket, I’m nak…

\- In your pants pocket. Right here.

\- Noth… Oh fuck.

\- You told me you had thrown it away. That you had thrown it through the window.

\- Fuck.

\- Carrie, don’t. Carrie, give me that key card. You told me …

\- Well, I lied.

\- Give me that card.

\- No. Quinn, don’t… No, I’m not giving you… Don’t try to…. This conversation is not over, I’m not…

\- Give me this right now.

\- No! Let me go, Quinn, I’m not giving it to you… I… Quinn let me go let me… 

\- Give me that key card right now or I swear, I… 

\- Fuck, Quinn, get off me I… Aaaah!

\- … … …

\- … … …

\- Oh, that’s clever. Now, none of us has the card. 

\- Well, next time, Carrie, don’t throw it away to the other side of the room.

\- Well, next time, Quinn, don’t throw me naked on the mattress and… Do you realize you’re just holding me now?

\- I’m not… holding you, I’m holding you hostage.

\- Hostage? And what will you trade me for? 

\- The key card. Or my clothes.

\- Ok, and who’s gonna give them to you?

\- The plan is not perfect yet.

\- Ok.

\- Ok.

\- …

\- …

\- And now, you’re caressing my shoulder. 

\- …

\- And my arm.

\- I’m just…

\- You’re just…?

\- I’m… I’m checking your health, Carrie. The health of the hostage, it’s, um, important, and…

\- …

\- …

\- Still checking? 

\- I…

\- … Quinn, just let me…

\- … you want to… you want to leave…? 

\- … No… I don’t want to leave… I…

\- …

\- I just want to be… face to face to…

\- …

\- …

(... ... ...)

\- Carrie… Stop…

\- … what?

\- … just stop…

\- … wh… why?

\- I… we have to talk.

\- Now?

\- Yes. Yes. Yes now.

\- Now when we’re halfway in… When we’re in the middle of…

\- Yes, now, Carrie, wait. Just let me……

\- …

\- … catch my breath for a second…

\- …

\- … thank you…

\- God, fuck you, Quinn. Just fuck you. I mean, you had…

\- …

\- … every opportunity to reject me before… 

\- …

\- … all the time in the world to tell me to go to hell tonight, I mean, fuck, you initiated this, and now you wait till… What do you want, just to humiliate me?

\- Yes, that’s my goal in life, to humiliate you, Carrie, fuck, shut up now. You are the one who wanted to have this conversation, you’re the one who went to crazy lengths to have this talk, so let’s have this talk, so you never actually answered the question, you said I kept repeating “I don’t want you Carrie but please tell me with detail what would happen if I did”, ok, so, what _would_ happen? Cause, fuck me, I don’t want to be one of your many casualties tomorrow morning…

\- Quinn, I…

\- If it’s to get up after and say “That was fun, don’t call me back”, you’d better get out of that room right now, and take your fucking clothes with you…

\- Quinn, I just…

\- Or better still, I will throw your clothes out of the window, and your fucking key card with it… And _then_ I will throw you out of that room…

\- You’re mad.

\- Hell, yeah, I’m mad.

\- Ok, why, exactly?

\- …

\- Because from my side, Quinn, we were just… engaged in an extremely pleasant activity… and things were going… deep… and you suddenly…

\- You’re playing me, Carrie.

\- No, I’m not.

\- Oh, really!?

\- Fuck. You want your answer, Quinn?

\- What answer?

\- The one to “I don’t want you Carrie but please tell me with detail what would happen if I did?”

\- …

\- I would… ask you… to try. Something. With me.

\- …

\- I’m sick of the mess, Quinn. I’m sick of my mess, I’m sick of Brody, I’m sick of… You’re the one I trust, you’re the one I go to… You’re the one I… 

\- …

\- …

\- … You what, Carrie?

\- I don’t know, I’m not in love with you or anything, okay? But I… I feel I could be, if that made sense? If you gave me a chance, if you… If you had this crush, if it was true, even a little one, even a tiny little one, then…

\- …

\- When Allison told me… Sure, I was drunk, but I… I thought…

\- …

\- I hoped… You know?

\- I…

\- Please give me a chance.

\- …

\- Please?

 

 

(The End!)


End file.
